Marian May Day 2: The Day I Dared Mary to Show Up in My Life

Hey, hey! You came back! YAAAYYY!

I’m guessing you might be interested in the little experiment I ran—to see if Mary actually… I don’t know—noticed me? Tuned in? Interacted?
Like, was she just God’s tool, as a friend of mine once put it—a kind of surrogate womb to get Christ here, but unnecessary for God’s or man’s purposes after the cross?
Or is she really the loving, available Mother of the Church, with massive influence with the Trinity, that the Catholics have always said she is?

So, here’s what I did:

This was maybe two years ago now, which means I had literally been sitting in St. Mary’s Catholic Church for about five years without even dipping my toe into Mariology.

Not to say I’d never said a rosary—I had. I just didn’t put any trust in it. At all.

Finally, I thought: Okay Mary… I’ll give you a shot. I’ll give you a chance.
You were a wife and a mom, and you definitely had to keep house and cook. I kind of suck at that whole “clean and organized home 24/7” thing. Not that I didn’t do it—but it never came easy. It felt like a burden.

So I said:

If you are who they say you are… and you see me… and you actually want to be part of my life—then I could really use some help being a better, kinder wife… and maybe get this domestic goddess gig singing.

Kid you not—I said that standing in my kitchen.
Not in a stance of prayer—more like a challenge, honestly.

I told my best friend Barbara I’d done it, too. She loves me and tolerates all my whims, but she’s Protestant through and through, and I’m pretty sure she had zero expectation that “Mary” was going to lift a finger. 😂

But then—just a few days later—I looked around and the house was… a little sparkly.
There was a calmness in the air. A peacefulness.
And it wasn’t because I’d worked my fingers to the bone to get there.

I noticed myself answering my honey with a softer voice—even a lyrical tone, instead of the matter-of-fact maven I can definitely be. Or rather, was very capable of being.

It was like there was some invisible example being set.
An effortless improvement I didn’t manufacture.
I know—it sounds kinda wooo. But it’s also… true.

It was enough to kind of unnerve me—and it was enough for me to give her another chance.

I think the next thing I did was to watch Scott Hahn’s “The Bible and the Virgin Mary” on Formed.org, which is an amazing resource if you haven’t checked it out. I’d seen Scott Hahn before, speaking about the road to Emmaus, and I knew he was a converted Presbyterian pastor—super scholarly, deeply rooted in Scripture, and someone I could trust to stay grounded.

One thing that stuck with me was when he said Catholics believe we go through Mary to get to Jesus—and that this wasn’t some made-up idea. It was always that way.

The wise men didn’t just walk up and grab Jesus out of the manger—they had to go through her to get to Him.
Same with Simeon in the temple—he didn’t just march in and scoop up the baby Messiah. She had to allow it.

It kind of made me pause.

So just to clarify here:
I absolutely do not believe anyone has to go through Mary to get to Jesus. That hasn’t been my belief, and it hasn’t been my experience.

But… after a couple of years of trying to actually get to know what she’s all about—I can say this:

She’s capable of illuminating aspects of Jesus that I hadn’t seen before.
Because—duh—she knows Him better than anyone else ever has, right?
She carried Him, raised Him, watched Him teach, suffer, die, rise.
She saw the whole story unfold from the inside.
And if she wants to help me understand Him better… I’m not going to turn that down.

I’ve come to believe that what she asks for from Him, she very often gets, too.
I’m going to venture to say—that it’s not even an argument with Him when she wants something.

Let’s look at one moment in Scripture we can all agree she was front and center for:
The wedding at Cana.

This was after Jesus had been baptized, spent 40 days fasting in the desert, and had started gathering a few disciples.

They all head to the wedding of the weekend in Cana—after a tough 40 days, ready for a little R&R—where Mama Mary was on the guest list, too.

Somehow, she notices that the wine has run out.

My personal call on it?
She went to grab a little more cab, and the jar was empty—which wasn’t really working for her.
And seeing that it wasn’t time to shut down the party yet, she did the only thing the Mother of God could do:
She let Him know.

“They have no wine.” Quite matter-of-factly

She looks at Him.
He looks at her.

Jesus doesn’t exactly leap into action.
He responds:

“Woman, what does this have to do with me? My hour has not yet come.”

She knew exactly what that meant.
“Ima (Jewish for mom)… not now.”

It was an acknowledgment that she was in on the plan.
But He was saying it wasn’t the right time.
And Mary? She just… moved the timeline up.

She turns to the servants and gives the most enduring spiritual advice ever:

Do whatever He tells you.”
No arguing. No pleading. No power plays.
Just complete trust that He would act.

Glancing back to lock gazes with him once again He side eyes the servers, saying  “fill the jars with water” then looks back knowingly with a twinkle in his eye, to mom
He did it. Yes, he did! The headwaiter was of course astonished at the quality of the wine!

They were in cahoots.
She knew Him. He loved her.
And in that moment, He responded to her request.

So yeah—if that doesn’t show she has influence…
I don’t know what does.

And you know what? That wasn’t the end of her story.
She didn’t disappear into biblical obscurity.

We may not hear her name in every scene—but she’s there, I’m sure.
Use your holy imagination—she’s a Jewish mother!
That Ima was not letting her boy traipse all around without her somewhere in the vicinity—all the way to the foot of the Cross.

And there, He gives her to John… and John to her.
A metaphor the Catholic Church has always understood as Him giving her to all of us—to every disciple to come after John.

Still… that doesn’t answer all the questions. Who is she to the church today? 

Who is she to the Church today? Admittedly, I’m still figuring this all out.

Looking back at things that started shifting my perspective of her…

I still remember sitting in a Protestant church for the one liturgical reading and sermon of the year- Christmas, —long before I ever thought Mary had anything to do with me—when Dano McCollam said something that totally stopped me in my tracks.

He talked about how Mary was overshadowed by the Holy Spirit when she conceived Jesus.

Now, I know what it feels like to be touched by the Holy Spirit.
To be moved. Transformed. Radicallly changed from the inside out.

And I remember thinking:

If one moment with the Spirit changed my life…
what must it have been like for her?
To be overshadowed by Him? To conceive a child with Him?
To carry the Son of God in her actual body?

And to live in his presence for year upon year. 

These questions have stayed with me.

What kind of life did she live after that?
How did she carry that experience?
What did she know?
Who did she become?

Who is she now? Discarded? I think not.

That’s what I want to explore next.

So come back tomorrow—
Let’s see who she might really be.